You need to clean the fishtank - So my 3 year old says

Tonight did not start off so easy. In fact it literally stunk. From the moment I arrived at my children's daycare to pick them up and my 1 1/2 year old came running into my arms with wet shorts and a putrid blowout, all the way until I finally put him to bed kicking and screaming. No, really. He was kicking, screaming, and hitting me. 

I swear y'all, there are some nights I find myself counting the minutes until it is their bedtime. My husband works night shift and I have been doing this rotation for 3 1/2 years now. God bless single mothers and army wives. You deserve a medal. I don't know if I could handle it without my husband home at least half of the time. 

But then, you have those good moments. Those moments where they do something so silly, so insightful, or just so downright adorable that you just sit back and think "Oh, that's right. This is what it's all about" 

Tonight I had one of those moments. And it erased the entire beginning of the evening. Funny how that works, huh? As I was laying in bed with my oldest, Nolan, who is now almost 4, he told me, didn't ask, but told me his father and I need to clean his fish tank. He stated so smartly that the dirt on the window will make his fish, Nemo 1, Nemo 2, and Dorit (because 2 Nemo's are ok, but 3 is clearly unacceptable) very sick and they will die. While part of me felt silly for not having cleaned the tank already, the other part was so impressed that he is even having such thought-out reasoning at his age. And I was proud. Again, not of the dirty fish tank.

And then he even went on to tell me "Mommy, we must snuggle, because I will go to sleep faster and so will you." And he's right. I sleep so much better when he's in my arms. Now Easton still needs some work obviously. The whole hitting thing is a work in progress but he will get there too. 

So my advice to any mom having a bad day is to push through! There are so many proud moments around the corner and just like child labor, you will forget about the hours of pain you endured for the reward!

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14 NIV

How Easter and Crowder changed my life

Today is a day of joy. A day of new beginnings. A day of hope. Today is Easter.

Many of us know the story of Easter and what it means. Jesus died on the cross and rose again 3 days later. He was crucified for us. He paid for our sins so we could go to Heaven. It is finished. 

This year Easter has brought on a new joy for me. My father is in heaven and there is NO doubt in my mind. I have been waiting to share this testimony and today couldn't be more perfect. 

As many of you know, my father passed away January 4th this year. About 2 weeks later, I had plans to go to Atlanta for a Christian conference called Passion. I had the trip planned for many months or otherwise may have cancelled with all that was going on. But figured I needed to go, worship, and be as close to God as I could get. I remember so clearly, as I was packing to go, asking God to just show me that my Dad was in Heaven. I wasn't sure about his beliefs, or if he had accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. I just wasn't feeling strong in my faith. To be honest, I had prayed so hard for complete healing when my dad fell ill in the hospital that when he passed away within 2 weeks, I was angry. I thought prayers and also firm faith in my prayers would be what made my dad overcome. But he didn't. So when I asked God to tell me he was in Heaven, I was skeptical that He was listening. 

On my 2nd day at the conference, I heard David Crowder sing, "Come as you are". Such a great song. I've heard it 100 times before coming to this show and already knew every word. What I didn't know was that God would use this song, and the Holy Spirit, to reveal why He had to take my father and why He couldn't answer my first prayers for complete healing. 

As I sat and listened to the song, and there were lights for the show literally spelling "HEAVEN" in green above, I knew. He is there. With God. It was so clear. Tears just streamed down my face without my even realizing. And when it was over, I thanked God. Isn't it just like Him to always give you more than you ask for just when you need it most?

Here are the words and video from last years conference:
 

Come out of sadness

From wherever you’ve been

Come broken hearted

Let rescue begin

Come find your mercy

Oh sinner come kneel

Earth has no sorrow

That heaven can’t heal

Earth has no sorrow

That heaven can’t heal

So lay down your burdens

Lay down your shame

All who are broken

Lift up your face

Oh wanderer come home

You’re not too far

So lay down your hurt

Lay down your heart

Come as you are

There’s hope for the hopeless

And all those who’ve strayed

Come sit at the table

Come taste the grace

There’s rest for the weary

Rest that endures

Earth has no sorrow

That heaven can’t cure

So lay down your burdens

Lay down your shame

All who are broken

Lift up your face

Oh wanderer come home

You’re not too far

So lay down your hurt

Lay down your heart

Come as you are

Come as you are

Fall in his arms

Come as you are

There’s joy for the morning

Oh sinner be still

Earth has no sorrow

That heaven can’t heal

Earth has no sorrow

That heaven can’t heal

 

So lay down your burdens

Lay down your shame

All who are broken

Lift up your face

Oh wanderer come home

You’re not too far

So lay down your hurt

Lay down your heart

Come as you are

Come as you are

Come as you are

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PE6QXWFL6jY

 

What many may not have known about my dad is that he had a lot of "demons" or "skeletons" in his heart. Truth be told, he never fully got over his divorce with my mom. It was his only real love. After that, everything was just a series of mishaps that he couldn't pick up from and he couldn't give to God while here on Earth. He just wasn't willing. So I now know that God was telling me "Of course your dad is here with me. And this is why I took him, to heal him, completely, as only Heaven can do" 

So this is why I celebrate today and will look at Easter in a whole new light. Jesus paved the way so my dad could go to Heaven. I will be there later with him, regardless of any past sins he or I may have had. 

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16 NIV

My heart for Haiti

Tonight my heart is overflowing. Overflowing with joy yet sadness. With love yet despair. With aching yet yearning. The country and people of Haiti will tug at your heartstrings until there is nothing left to tug. 

I had the privilege tonight to help teach English to middle school age children here in Grand Goave, Haiti. They know that if they are able to learn our language it will give them an opportunity to earn a better living whether it be as a fellow teacher or to assist the American missionaries as translators or many other English-speaking roles. They were eager to learn. Eager to be loved on. I learned their names and ages and we talked about the different colors. Just like any other child, they laughed and played games. They held my hand and gave me hugs. My heart was overjoyed. I have been so blessed to see God's love in these Haitian children. 

Then we went out to dinner and drove through the town and I was reminded of the despair. I looked around at the tin roofs and tarp-made walls and think to myself "How do they do it? How do they laugh and play when they know this is what they're coming home to?" Clearly these children have it figured out better than I do. They see joy despite their circumstance. And that's what I've really learned and been reminded of so far on my 2nd mission trip to Haiti. It's not always about changing the ones you meet but opening your heart to let them change you. 

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1 NIV